Online Dating: Are they really who they say they are?

Even before the Coronavirus outbreak, many people were turning to online dating because they were too busy, or too disheartened with the traditional dating scene. But in the wake of the global pandemic, online dating and connection websites have seen their numbers soar. 

Finding an honest connection online

Perhaps you’ve had a few bad experiences, and now you’re finding it difficult to trust that the person you’re chatting with, really is who they say they are. Or maybe you think you’ve found the ‘The One’, but you can’t shake that nagging feeling that they’re hiding something from you. 

If that’s the case, there are things you can do to check them out. The team at Delta 74 Private Investigations offer comprehensive background checks that will give you peace of mind, before you really commit to a new relationship. But in the meantime, follow our tips below to keep yourself safe when dating online, and to help you find the right connection with an honest person. 

1. Avoid shallow profiles

You can create an online dating profile with just a few clicks. It gives you the opportunity to highlight your hobbies, pastimes and background. You’ll find those more invested in finding a relationship, rather than a quick connection, will put more time and effort into filling out their profile fully. 

However, a well-rounded profile isn’t always the safest option. Dishonest people will often fill out their profile to excess, with photos or experiences that simply aren’t true – or aren’t actually them! So during your chats, be sure to mention the things they say they’ve done and press them for more detail.

2. Avoid cheesy pick-up lines

Whilst a fun pick up line can be the perfect ice breaker, if it’s too cheesy or raunchy, you should pay attention. 

How someone begins their first conversation with you is probably an indicator of what they’re looking for: Too sexy – a one night stand? Too cliche – they’re probably using that line a lot! Too much info – who are they trying to convince? 

If the conversation starter doesn’t sit right with you, it’s probably best to move on quickly, rather than spend time and effort getting to know someone who you don’t feel you click with. 

3. Avoid pushy partners

When you start chatting with someone online, the conversation should be easy and fun. If they’re talking too much about themselves or asking too many personal questions before you’re ready, try setting some early boundaries. 

Similarly, if someone is too keen to meet up right away, and they’re pushing you to a meet, either in public or private, put the brakes on! If they keep pushing even after you’ve explained you’re not ready for a real life meet up yet, then they clearly aren’t respecting your choices or boundaries.

4. Avoid the mysterious

Whilst part of the allure of online dating can be the mystery, if the person you’re chatting to is too mysterious it might be a sign that they aren’t being truthful. 

If they only send messages at certain times, they could be trying to hide your conversations from their significant other. If they’re vague about the details of their exciting travels, perhaps they’re someone else’s tales and photos. Or, if they don’t want to talk about their high-flying job, it could because it’s not their real job after all!   

Remember online dating is supposed to be about getting to know new people, so if they’re too private and won’t let you get to know them, trust your instincts. 

5. Avoid private places

First dates should be exciting, it’s all about the connection and the chemistry. But remember that even if you’ve been chatting to the person for a while, you still don’t really know them. Don’t let them talk you into a private meetup, always go somewhere public where other people will be about.

The current restrictions on social gatherings are the perfect excuse to delay a meeting until you can go somewhere you feel safe – but it might also be a good excuse for a trickster to tempt you into a private meeting. Don’t fall for it, if they’re too pushy and don’t understand your reasons for waiting until you can meet safely and comfortably, they aren’t worth the effort. 

The Next Step

If you’ve met the person, and you’re excited by the new relationship, it can be easy to look past warning signals. If they aren’t introducing you to their friends and family, or perhaps don’t want to meet yours; or they’re still being private or elusive when you ask about their past, their job or their home life, it might be because they aren’t being truthful with you.

Finding out too late the person has a secret past, a gambling habit, a criminal record or are actually already married can be devastating. They might just be embarrassed by their real job, or don’t have many friends, but if you’re not sure and you can get the answers you need from them to comfortably move onto the next step of the relationship, it’s sensible to do a little digging. 

The team at Delta 74 Private Investigations offer a full background checking service that will uncover any secrets or skeletons in the closet! Let us put your mind at rest and provide you with the information you need to feel and secure with your new partner.